


Sex Ain't So Bad

by silver0wings



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex, hinted that ellis had a bad relationship, nick is gonna pull his hair out over how dumb this guy is but hes got a boner and feelings, trans man ellis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 04:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14908745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver0wings/pseuds/silver0wings
Summary: All Ellis wanted to do was go out and get some damn soap because you can't take a bath without soap. Who knew he'd be getting sucked off in a sex store.





	Sex Ain't So Bad

Running water. It was a real rare treat, one that the little gang of survivors was very much thankful for, especially after today. None stop running for hours on end, _two_ witches and the hot sun beating down on them made for a tired bunch.

Tired, except for one.

Ellis was digging through his bag, and then the bags of his companions with more energy than he had any right to have.

"Hey overalls, you touch my shit looking for whatever you lost, I cover yours in boomer bile," Nick rattled the canister, the threat clear as Ellis huffed, disappointed that his search turned up nothing and he couldn't even look in the last bag. He grabs his bag, along with a bat and shotgun, heading towards the door.

Before he even gets near it, Coach puts a stop to that. He was always strict on the no running off alone rule. "Ellis, what did I tell you about runnin' off?"

His cheeks puff in a pout, "Nick ran off yesterday! We thought he died!" The truth in the statement was arguable. Nick had been gone for only a handful of minutes, and had taken toilet paper with him, so there was no real reason to think he was dead, or running off, other than Ellis needed an excuse, and it was fun to throw Nick under the damn bus.

"I don't give a crap what Nick does, he knows when he's making mistakes. you, I don't think you know." Truth be told, Coach was the slightest bit protective over his younger friends, if only because he felt like he had to be a responsible adult around them. Nick and Rochelle were only detestably adults based on some of their antics, and Ellis he was still certain hadn't mentally aged past about 13. Coach wasn't exactly a role model himself, but by god he wasn't going to let one of these stupid hardly-not-children die. "Why do you even want to go out? And out alone?"

"Well I don' wanna bother someone goin' out for shit, but we don' got any soap. Kinda need some for a bath," he gives a little shrug, turning towards Rochelle, "you wanna come with? Please?"

Rochelle was not moving. She had her shoes off and was sprawled in one corner, looking as comfortable as she could be. "Nu-uh baby boy, I've got blisters on my blisters your puppy eyes don't do shit to me today."

And thus, the whining started.

Usually, Ellis was a pretty good spirited guy. Bright and sunny and too damn eager, even when things were dark. But when he needed or wanted to, he could break out a solid whiny tone and pouting face. It'd pretty much worked all throughout his childhood, so to him, there was no reason to learn a different negotiation tactic. Childish? Maybe. But it was effective.

"I can't take a bath without soap, y'all jus' bein' cruel. Deprivin' a guy of his soap."

"I ain't kiddin', none y'all are my friends no more. Not unless one you comes an' finds soap."

"Why can't I just go out alone? I ain't stupid, I ain't gonna get lost or nothin'."

And so on.

For twenty. Fucking. Minutes.

During that time, Nick's resolve crumbled like old stone, unable to put up with constant bitching, despite he himself usually being a constant bitcher. "FINE goddammit, I'll go out but you aren't allowed to talk," Nick gave Coach an evil eye look, getting up and grabbing his things. He also knew the no talking rule was going to be broken in less than a second, but he had to try. 

Ellis, was of course, ecstatic. Then again, there was very little he wasn't ecstatic about, so really this was his base level excitement, which just so happens to be far above everyone else's base level.

With a wave of his hand, Coach okay'd the trip, but not without a firm warning towards the older of the pair, "You come back without him, or you both go missing, so help me I'll find a hell worse than the apocalypse to put you in. We got enough trouble withou-"

"Jesus, why do you always think I want to kill overalls?"

"Pro'lly 'cause you say things like shut the fuck up an' how much you hate everythin' I do an-"

Rochelle groaned, "argue outside, this safehouse is a quiet zone."

So with one annoyed and the other giddy, the two went out.

Most of the zombies had already been cleared, or were easy enough to avoid, so they didn't have much trouble in that department. It was an easy stroll, or at least, Nick thought it would be an easy stroll. There was literally no reason to rush, it should be an easy stroll. Ellis, on the other hand, took off at a full sprint towards one store and then the next, leaving no time to catch up.

"What the-" Nick panted, leaning on a lamppost when Ellis finally came to a stop, "the hell do you think you're doing? Gonna get yourself killed, running like that."

Before he could get a real answer out, Ellis found the sleeves of his coveralls being untied from his waist, and Nick looking at them, puzzled. "The hell you doin'? I ain't got a belt Nick, kinda why I had those tied." Other than his words, there was no real fuss, Ellis was more than alright with letting Nick try and do whatever nonsense he was trying to do, trusting the conman - and Coach, and Rochelle for that matter - with his life after all the hell they'd seen together. Wasn't really a lot of harm he could do playing with coveralls. 

However much he trusted him, though, there was one thing abudantly clear as Nick tried to find a way to keep Ellis's pants up while still having a sleeve to hold onto: Cityboy never seen a damn pair of coveralls in his life.

"...Wanted a handle.." Nick explained, retying the knot, but tying it wrong so Ellis had to fix it anyhow.

"I got HANDles," he waved his hand in his face, an act Nick didn't seem to enjoy.

"I have seen you pick your nose and eat it. I have seen you pick your _ass_ and eat it. I'm not holding your hand."

Ellis looked a little disheartened at that, dropping his hands to his side. It's that moment that he chooses to take off at a run again, because fuck, if Nick wants to play mean, he's gonna have to chase him. It was funny to watch Nick run. 

Nick did not find this funny.

The only real reason that Ellis was caught the second time is because he stopped in front of a store's window, brows all knit together and lips parted as he looked inside. Nick's grip on the back of his shirt startled him, and he snapped from his little daydream.

"You. Are so. Fucking. Dead."

Threat ignored, and now knowing it was just Nick being real dramatic over a bit of running, Ellis went back to being in awe over what was inside the store. "Woah..."

Nick finally looked up, and was thoroughly disappointed. It was just a sex shop, and not even a particularly classy one. "What, you never seen a sex store before? Don't have them in hick town?" Even if he got elbowed for it, Nick did not regret saying that.

"I was livin' in _Savannah_ before this shit, it ain't a hick town."

"Can you spell Savannah?" Another elbow. So worth it. The way Ellis elbowed wasn't even harmful, more of a playful nudge than intent to injure. He was used to roughhousing and therefore everyone should be good with some friendly bumps.

"S-A-V anna." He grins, and really isn't looking at Nick at all, more interested in the things in the store and how his face felt kind of warm. 

Figuring Ellis wasn't going to run off a _third_ time, Nick pushes open the door, holding it open. This was a place he was more than comfortable in, thoroughly experienced where it seemed Ellis's youth had him handicapped. It surprised Nick a bit that he was this riled up over some breast mugs and vibrators, what else is there to do in a little hick town than have sex? "C'mon, about the only titties you'll ever get to touch"

"Hey! I touched titties before!"

"Yeah, your own," Nick laughs, patting Ellis's shoulder as they walk inside.

Ellis was wide eyed, curious as ever but a bit more hushed than his usual loud tone. "An' some others..." He lifts up an oddly shaped dildo. He knew exactly where it was meant to be put, sure, but he couldn't figure out why something different than the standard penis shape existed.

"Uhhuh." Nick pockets a set of condoms, y'know, for safe keeping. A man had to have some plans.

The whole place had certainly been raided, but was in far better shape than most stores. Adult toys and lube just weren't in high demand compared to food and weapons. And there weren't in zombies in here, so there was no reason not to linger as long as they wanted.

Ellis leans himself against a counter, picking up a magazine. Now this was something he was familiar with. Granted, the ones he'd had weren't true pornos, the ladies still barely covered and just posed to look sexy, so this one was a bit of a step up.

He flips a page. Some blonde was getting screwed from behind, mouth hung open and eyes wide. He snorts, painfully honest as he speaks, "I don' get why they always look like that. It ain't that great."

"What are you looking at-" Nick steps close, looking down at the picture, not teasing anymore, "Ellis, that's just sex. its pretty great. I know you've had it, you..." He stops himself. Nick had gone digging for information on the southerner, in the form of stealing his wallet. Ellis had most definitely had sex based on what was there, but last time he pressed he'd ended up very much overstepping a major line, and much as he was a dick he'd rather not have Ellis shut down right now.

"Course I have! Course you think 's all great, you got a dick. Sex hurts, Nick." He looks up, and says it all too straight faced for it to be a joke. He isn't upset by this, either, he just says it like it's a fact.

Truth be told, the sex Ellis had had _did_ hurt. A lot. According to everyone who'd told him anything about sex - which was very few people, if he was honest - sex was horrible unless you had a penis. You just laid there and let the guy have his fun, and that was sex.

With Nick being quiet for a moment, Ellis looked back, tossed the magazine back on the counter, picking up a ridiculously sized dildo and holding it about ready to swing, because hey it'll be funny to hit Nick with a big ol' dick. "Jus' ram it in there, then it all rips up an' you bleed, then you're loose an' it sucks for the guy too, an' it just ain't good. Sex sucks." 

Much to Ellis's shock, his new weapon started vibrating, and he dropped it, jumping back like it'd actually hurt him, "FUCK!"

Apparently, that was enough to bring Nick out of his horrfied state, because he started laughing.

"Hooooly shit that'll like. That'll break you won' it? won' it jus' break your stuff? Hot damn imagine gettin' that all up, all up in the- it's like a jackhammer! lookit its- fuck its runnin' off!" He grabs for it like it's a snake, and Nick pounded his fist on a counter, wheezing with laughter.

As hilarious as Ellis's completely sad sexual experience was, he did manage to finally get a hold of himself, having to wipe tears from his eyes. Ellis was still grinning, because damn! This thing was weird, and Nick was laughing, and Nick _never_ laughed and he really loved making people laugh.

"Okay okay, put that in your bag. you're taking that if nothing else because miss stick up her ass could use it," he's still out of breath, and everytime he looks back up to how Ellis is _still_ holding it like a snake he wheezes again.

"Miss Rochelle's only got a stick up her ass when you try an' flirt with her, she's like. Gonna be married, ain't got time for your dumb suit an' callin' her shit like sugar."

"What." Utterly speechless was a rare look on Nick, especially when it was Ellis talking.

"Ain't you heard her talk about her fiancee?"

"No."

"Maybe you would've if you heard anyone but yourself talkin'," Ellis snorted, finding a way to turn the vibrating massive dildo off and stick it in his bag, because why not, might as well take it with.

"She's... Got a boyfriend," Nick realized he was not, in fact, the only datable man on the planet. It came as a real shock.

Ellis laughed, and went back on his little hunt for more things. "Don' think there's a boy, Nick. Think she's got a lady-friend."

He grabbed a CD, a woman being eaten out on the cover and some shitty title that was probably a pun above her. He held it up, showing Nick, who was still putting that puzzle piece into play when Ellis said, "there ain't nothin' to suck? Wha's he doin'? There ain't.."

Nick's horror returned. "Oh you poor stupid idiot. There is _plenty_ to suck."

"But there ain't-"

"Have you never jerked off?" This was unbelievable. He got bad penetrative sex, that at least made sense, but how did someone make it to Ellis's age without experimenting solo?

"There ain't nothin' to jerk!" He was a little heated now, frustrated Nick wouldn't listen. He'd had a wife, he should know this stuff!

"Are you saying you've never had an orgasm?" He was honestly, kind of, sort of, really worried. Maybe if he'd never cum, that was why Ellis was always so wound up and a pain in the ass.

Ellis flat out did not understand the question. Sure he knew the words, but... "...I can't? I ain't got a dick, Nick. Thought we'd covered that one already."

Nick covered his face with two hands. He sounded like he was having some sort of feeling, like empathy or pity, or whatever weird version of it people like Nick were capable of. "Oh my god. You're _22_ and you've never cum. You've never fucking cum."

"But I can't!"

"If I told my ex-wife she couldn't orgasm because shes got a vagina, she would've tried to kill me sooner," he slowly moves his hands, and really, really doesn't sound like he's teasing. Which was weird to Ellis, because why wasn't he teasing? Surely, Nick should be bragging about his ability to cum, not saying this confusing shit about how vagina owners could orgasm, because to Ellis, that just isn't possible.

For a while, the two of them were just quiet. Standing, Ellis looking at anything but Nick because he wasn't making a damn bit of sense, and Nick looking right at Ellis, that weird pity-empathy-thing all in his eyes.

"Alright, scoot back. were fixing this, I'm taking one for the team and showing you sex can be decent," Nick stepped forward, and Ellis easily backed up into a wall.

He turned his head to the side, not meeting his eyes, and sounding almost hurt,"You jus' wanna get it wet."

"Mine's staying in my pants." Nick wasn't touching, not yet anyways, just staying close leaned against him.

"That ain't fair," more a pout than a protest, but even then it's a resigned one. Ellis was convinced this was going to suck, but the word 'no' didn't register as an option. He trusted Nick, sure, but he didn't trust sex.

"Life's not fair. Drop your pants."

Ellis undid his coveralls, letting them fall down his legs, and scooting his boxers down to follow. For a moment he's confused, waiting for Nick to do something with his own dick, to lift him up by the hips and pin him to the wall and fuck him, to do something that'd make sense. Nope. Nick's all about not making sense.

Nick drops down to his knees, adjusting Ellis's clothing a bit more and fussing with how dirty the floor was.

"What're you doin' down there? You ain't gonna be able to reach or nothin'..."

"Just stop talking," Nick sighed. He was doing Ellis a favor. Just for Ellis. There was no underlying desire or feelings on his part. None.

"I jus' don' get what you're doin' on your knees- oh?" Nick had leaned forward, pushing an open-mouthed kiss to the edges of Ellis's pubic hair. Might as well start small and make sure he wasn't going to get kicked. Ellis doesn't move, but is baffled,"the hell? told you there ain't nothin' to su-"

Nick moved, pressing his tongue to Ellis's clit. Ellis's mouth fell open, words stopped midway through as he tried to figure out just what the hell that feeling was.

It was good. Like, real good. Not at all like getting fucked at been. Nick's tongue rolls and so do his thoughts, completely melting away as his fists open and close.

With a little sigh, Nick's all too pleased with himself. Finally, a way to shut Ellis up that actually worked. 'Nothing to suck' his ass, there was plenty to suck here, seemed like Ellis had been on T, or just had a lot to work with, and Nick was having no problem working his tongue and lips against him.

He doesn't dare try and push anything into him, not even when he can feel him dripping in only a matter of seconds and how he's hard just thinking about how easy it'd be to finger him, to show him hey look this is a G spot and you probably like it, too. The way Ellis had talked it was clear he needed taught what a clit was first and foremost. Maybe next time- shit, no, stop. Not the time to be thinking about a next time. He shifts, steadying Ellis with a hand on his hip, and his other reaches down to adjust his suit pants, telling himself that this is _not_ feelings or some sort of submission kink, it's just been too long and vaginas are hot no matter how dumb a hick they're attached to.

"Nick- Nick ahh," Ellis pushes forward, trying to get more of that heat on him, feel more pressure build inside. "Shit 's like I godda piss, fuck that- tha's- oh _god_."

He was shaking, words falling into needy moans and pants, pushing forward for more, more of Nick's wonderful tongue. And then he _sucks_. Wraps his lips right around and applies suction as his tongue lulls against him, and all Ellis can see is white. He's entirely unaware that he's moaning load and long, hands balled up in fists and hips spasming forward as Nick let's him ride out his orgasm, keeping up the suction until he settles down. 

Nick gently hums and pulls back, scooting Ellis's boxers and coveralls up, and then helping as he slides right down to the floor, legs giving out and chest heaving, completely unwound and relaxed. It was a good look, if Nick did say so himself, he was good at what he did. 

It's still a few minutes before Ellis says anything, out of breathe but right back to his too-damn-excited smile, "where'd you learn to do that?"

Nick leans back, looking at the door. There was a real chance the noise Ellis made had attracted company. He also still had a boner, and maybe if he moved Ellis wouldn't notice and get scared or worse, try and help. "High school."

"Damn really? All I learned in high school's math an' how to start a fire to get outta class." His hands are still shaking as he tries to retie his coveralls without standing or even lifting his hips, because goddamn did Nick do it wrong again.

Nick doesn't justify that one with an answer, knowing it'd probably launch Ellis into telling a story about how Keith or Dave or _whoever_ got set on fire or another form of bullshit. Nick didn't even believe half the people Ellis told stories about were real, let alone think there was truth in the stories.

Ellis was happy to keep talking, even if Nick was quiet. "Is it like that everytime?" He was still baffled. What had just happened _couldn't_ be sex, right? That had to be something better. After all, sex was supposed to hurt, and _that_ certainly did not hurt.

"Supposed to be, yeah. You see why people have it now?"

"Nothin- Nothin' even went in? Not even a little? Was all that... What was that?"

"No, Ellis, nothing went in. That thing's a clitoris, it's a bundle of nerves, like... Like a penis." He can't believe he has to explain this to someone. Can't believe he has to explain this to someone who he just sucked off.

"I thought it was just a weird mole," Ellis laughs, and he's truthful, still feeling far too good and unable to stop smiling.

"Oh my god, please shut up." Nick is horrified. He thought it was a _mole_. He probably caused himself brain damage by getting Ellis off. He probably caught some of his stupidity.

A few minutes later, and Nick stands up, and Ellis tries to. His legs aren't having this weight thing, and happiness turns right into fear. Not being able to walk was not a good thing, not when they were constantly on the run for their life. "Hey uh, Nick? I uh. Somethin's wrong."

Nick helped him stand, and even then he was wobbly. He sighs, and ends up picking Ellis up piggyback style. "It happens, okay? You'll be fine."

It was a much slower walk back to the safehouse. They didn't stop for things, or really have trouble with zombies, but having to carry Ellis slowed the both of them down.

For about the fifth time, Nick asked the same question over again, really trying to drill it into Ellis's head, "what are you going to tell Coach when he asks what took so long?"

"That I tripped an' my foot hurts."

"And what are you NOT going to tell coach?"

"That you blew me."

"And when he asks why we were out so long?"

And this, this was the part of the lie that Ellis kept getting hung up on. Nick was increasingly frustrated.

"I'll tell him that I learned what a clot- clunt? Clent?"

Nick sighed. This was hopeless. "No, no. We're not going to tell Coach about the Clitoris."

"But Nick!" Ellis seemed genuinely concerned, rocking a bit where he was still being carried, "but Nick tha's lyin'! Can't lie to Coach, he'll know it ain't true." He squeezed Nick's shoulders tight, "Nick, Nick, what if Rochelle don' know either? What if she's been havin' bad sex too?" 

Nick groaned. Externally, he regretted everything, ever. Cumming did not settle Ellis down at all, he was just as overexcited as before. And now his mouth tasted like salty skin and vagina, not that he minded that taste all too much, but his damn boner really would've liked some attention. "Rochelle is a lesbian, according to you. She's been having better sex than all of us." 

There was a long pause, Ellis putting his head down with a little sigh. "You. You do know what a lesbian is, right?" 

"Course I do! I ain't dumb. 'S that cat that lives in South America." 

"...." 

"Or is that a jaguar? Is it jaguars or lesbians that live in Africa?" 

It took every ounce of Nick's willpower not to go off on Ellis about how fucking stupid he is, trying to tell himself that no, he just hasn't had any education at all apparently, and lesbians and leopards are apparently easy words to mix up. 

Finally, they're within seeing distance of the safehouse. Ellis refuses to go down, because the last ten feet might just kill him if he has to walk, and look, the guy's a cuddler and this is the first real contact he's got from Nick, so maybe he's a little inclined to hold onto it long as he can. 

"Aw shit, Nick y'know what?" 

Nick did not know what. He felt was going to regret asking. "What?" 

"We forgot soap."


End file.
